Sunday, September 9, 2012

Beowulf Post: Copied, Pasted, and Translated


  Beowulf ond Godsylla:
   Meanehwæl, baccat meaddehæle, monstær lurccen;
Fulle few too many drincce, hie luccen for fyht.
Ðen Hreorfneorhtðhwr, son of Hrwærowþheororthwl,
Æsccen æwful jeork to steop outsyd. Þhud! Bashe! Crasch! Beoom! Ðe bigge gye
Eallum his bon brak, byt his nose offe;
Wicced Godsylla wæld on his asse.
Monstær moppe fleor wyþ eallum men in hælle.
Beowulf in bacceroome fonecall bamaccen wæs;
Hearen sond of ruccus sæd, "Hwæt ðe helle?"
Graben sheold strang ond swich-blæd scharp
Stond feorth to fyht ðe grimlic foe. "Me," Godsylla sæd, "mac ðe minsemete."
Heoro cwyc geten heold wiþ fæmed half-nelson
Ond flyng him lic frisbe bac to fen
Beowulf belly up to meaddehæle bar,
Sæd, "Ne foe beaten mie færsom cung-fu."
Eorderen cocca-cohla yce-coeld, ðe reol þyng.
 

Beowulf and Godzilla:
  Meanwhile, back at Middle Hell, the monster lurks
Feeling too many drinks, he's lookin for fight
Then Hawthorne , son of  Hawthpatroleth,
Asked the awful jerk to step outside. Thud! Bash! Crash! Boom! The big guy
All of his bones broke, bit his nose off;
Wicked Godzilla wailed on his ass.
Monster mopped the floor with all of the men in hell.
Beowulf in the back room on a phonecall with Backmacken was;
Hearing the sound of a ruccus said, "What the hell?"
Grabbed shield strong and switch-blade sharp
Stand forth to fight the gramlin monster. "I," Godzilla said, "make thee mincemeat."
He quickly got held in the famed half-nelson
And flung him like a frisbee back to hell
Beowulf belly up at Middle Hell Bar
Said, "No foe can beat my fearsome kung-fu."
He ordered Coca-Cola ice-cold, the real thing.

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